Order from us for quality, customized work in due time of your choice.
Abstract
This paper critically evaluates my experience as a professional trainer. The general thought of the paper is based on changes, expanding knowledge and competencies, and identifying mistakes that previous experiences have been associated with. The paper extensively discusses the four main lessons that I have learned during my coaching career. In addition, it discusses the main mistake subjectively in my whole career, which showed a violation of the professional ethics of a coach and could have been detrimental to the client.
Introduction
One form of effective collaboration between individuals is coaching, which allows the intellectual and mental resources of a more experienced mentor to be used to achieve specific, desired benefits for the student. Coaching is an increasingly popular social activity because individuals desire for development is organic (Grover and Furnham, 2021; Lefdahl-Davis et al., 2018). Underlying the need for ones own coach is a deep understanding of an individuals inability to achieve desired goals with the resources and opportunities available. Having discomfort and awareness of the gap between desired and current is a crucial predictor for seeking professional help from an experienced coach. Utilizing the help of others who have either been on a particular professional or personal growth path themselves, or have knowledge of the topic, can catalyze learning processes and receive emotional support from the coach along the way (Theeboom et al., 2014). In turn, with each case study, the coach improves their coaching experience, support skills, and communication skills, which is an excellent foundation for the individuals professional development as a coach. I have direct experience coaching several clients on career development, professional skills coaching, and achieving stated goals. My experience as a coach has not been smooth and unhindered: recognizing the individuality of each case, I can confidently state that in some of them, I was not completely satisfied with myself as I was in others. In other words, in the end, each of my regular clients was satisfied with the achievement of the original goal, the degree of my personal satisfaction with the work done was not always favorable. On the other hand, understanding ones mistakes and the desire to develop professionally are essential aspects of critical evaluation and reflection, which is the goal of this paper.
Brief Information on the Personal Philosophy of Coaching
From the beginning of my coaching, I have always had a positive attitude toward the theory of coaching and have placed this form of intellectual activity on par with psychotherapy and consulting. In reality, people do not tend to trust this industry fully. According to data, one in every three life coaches in the world operates in the United States, which means it can be said that this market is oversaturated here (Masterson, 2021). At the same time, the demand for coaches continues to increase as increased people try to delegate responsibility for their own development. In this environment, it is reasonable to extrapolate that the growth in the number of coaches in the local market is ambiguously equal to the quality: a large number of professionals with only two weeks of quick online courses in their academic portfolios are emerging (Venkatesh, 2019). I do not undertake to evaluate this phenomenon, but I am inclined to believe that ultimately the client and the coaches reputation suffer from this effect. However, coaching is not yet as widespread and socially accepted practice as, for example, therapeutic psychological therapy, I have always seen it as having special potential. I find support in my views from scientific sources. Research continues to prove the effectiveness of mentoring and statistically substantiate it repeatedly. For example, Theeboom et al. (2014) showed that the weighted average effect of coaching on goal attainment was higher than average (g = 0.66), which means it is at least not a useless practice. In addition, Jones et al. (2018) showed that workplace coaching proved to be an extremely effective practice for people doing the most challenging work. In sum, I conclude from this that coaching is a useful, relevant, and necessary practice that optimizes client growth. True, unlike psychological methods that address past trauma, coaching has a direct focus on future outcomes through the use of available resources in the present (Aboujaoude, 2020). In many ways, this is justified by my internal attachment to the philosophy of the possibility of personal growth only through communication with others. Throughout the history of human existence, communities have actively transmitted knowledge, generations have passed on the experience of their elders, and teachers have helped the ignorant learners become competent professionals. For this reason, the teacher is one of the oldest professions, for, without active communication in the mentor-student system, effective knowledge transfer seems impossible to me.
The second pillar of my personal philosophy of mentoring, which I actively preach in my work, is the recognition of the impossibility of development through embeddedness. Humans are constantly trying to borrow from nature some processes and phenomena that make sense of human activity (Biomimicry, 2017). One such form is the idea of evolution as a source of endless change for the purpose of improvement and adaptation. I am a proponent of evolutionary biology, and the idea of such permanent progress is reflected in my own professional life. One of the most famous coaches in the world, Robert Hargrove, noted in his seminal book, Masterful Coaching, which using coaching is ineffective if one does not recognize the need for change in oneself (Hargrove, 2008). Thus, I am not entrenched in the somewhat scientific practice of mentoring but try to broaden the range of methods used with alternative but proven ideas. In addition, I am not a fan of conducting every session using the same structure, as in my mind, it is not a highly effective practice to keep the client engaged and interested in the outcome. In mentoring, unlike fundamental universities, the primary goal is not to blindly impart knowledge but to use all possible resources to achieve results (Lefdahl-Davis et al., 2018). For this reason, I try to improve my practices continually and suggest that students do not dwell on the same forms of coaching.
Lessons Learned from the Coaching Practice
Goal Setting
As I stated earlier, my professional journey as a coach has not been entirely smooth and unhindered. I have encountered clients who could not figure out what they wanted on their own and clients who knew exactly what their intentions were, but they could not engage systematically. One of the most important lessons I have been able to identify for myself throughout my practice is that you can only help someone who really wants it, as the FUEL model dictates (Neac_u, 2016). Although I came to this thought a few years ago, I have since begun to notice it in many areas not only related to coaching. For example, the idea that only those who want it can be helped is a leitmotif of the famous British book Me Before You by Jojo Moyes (Moyes, 2012). In terms of the academic literature, I have come across material about helping patients with chronic alcoholism, and for all of them, it has been true to recognize the effectiveness of any practice only on the basis of the individuals internal sustained desire for change (Nutt, 2019; Knopf, 2020). Concerning coaching, I have framed it this way: it is useless to apply even the most brilliant mentoring practices to a person who cannot understand their intentions and is not willing to cooperate. It is not uncommon that the decision to take on a personal coach is not personal to the client-it may be the desire of a parent or partner or of producers or business agents in the case of celebrity personalities (Pamah, 2018). I have accepted that I will not do work with such clients because, ultimately, its efficacy will be minimal or even harmful. I will point out that learning about a persons actual goals is usually very easy: it takes a couple of minutes of talking to them to determine this.
Cancellation of Meetings
Regarding starting classes with new clients, I need to add a few critical thoughts that I have formed as I have gained experience. In addition to a cursory analysis of my students goals, I always try to discuss the schedule of our meetings and important organizational details with them. At the beginning of my work, my classes were often disrupted at the last minute, or the client did not show up for them because he forgot or overslept. Obviously, these situations are always a waste of time and resources, so I have personally developed a tactic for myself to cancel classes at least 24 hours in advance. For example, if a client and I schedule regular Zoom appointments every Thursday at 2 pm, I ask to be notified of the scheduled cancellation as early as Wednesday so that I can review the structure of my day. While this may seem like a minor lesson in terms of my professionalism, my work has become much more organized and comfortable.
Personal Competence
Another important conclusion that I have made to myself relatively recently is to understand my own competence. I am currently pursuing a masters degree, which means that I am in one of the last stages of my academic career. In other words, as a professional, I still have room to grow. However, this may mean that I am a complete professional who can use whatever tools are available to get things done from a clients perspective. I must say, I do not adhere to the Machiavellian philosophy, so I am only willing to provide services in a field in which I myself am competent. Thus, I have decided for myself that I will never use clinical psychotherapy resources or even medication treatments (such as insomnia or apathy in a client) until I have sufficient academic knowledge of these issues.
Communicating with the Client
An essential piece of knowledge that I learned early on in my journey is the need to communicate with the client in a way that is organized according to specific patterns. It is important to note that by templates, I do not mean scripts or clichés with which I could respond to a client, but a set of rules that allow me to structure my communication. In a coach-learner system, I will always have leadership competencies and a guiding vector, as this is the managerial function of a coach, according to Karlsen and Berg (2020) and MacKie (2015). For this reason, I have learned that it is necessary to pre-mark the format of communication with the client in order to maintain effective, appropriate communication. This adds up to several rules. First, from an organizational standpoint, I designate that I will not be available to talk at night because it is unethical to disturb people at this time unless the situation is force majeure. Secondly, I make it clear that I will always respond to my client in any convenient way if they need help. Direct communication from the coacher is an essential feature of effective coaching (Knight, 2017). Third, I allow myself to be emotional in my work, but I will never overstep personal boundaries by pointing out a clients personality traits or berating them for any problems. For me, as a specialist, it is crucial to understand that coaching is primarily about actions and results, not about discussing the personality and traumas of the client. However, the art of coaching responds to the need to talk and the need to listen, including implicit signals from the client. I realized that it is impossible to achieve any meaningful results and follow progress if the coach refuses to listen to his client. It is noteworthy that clients often do not understand precisely what they need or cannot articulate their requests. For example, one of my students told me at the first session that he wanted to succeed. Although this is a complete message, it is evident that success is a highly subjective result, which in addition cannot be an end in itself (Frankl, 2006). I then asked the client to tell me about successful people, and after listening to their responses, it became clear to me that client success meant having a salary of over $150,000 a year. This is just one of my examples of what I mean by active listening to students.
A few months ago, though, I researched what their body can speak for clients. According to Knight (2017) and Batur et al. (2019), So-called body language is an essential trait of leadership skills in an experienced coach, so I decided to study this area of psychology actively. I read textbooks, watched educational videos, and consulted with psychologist acquaintances to improve my own experience of reading clients through their gestures and postures. The first thing I have found out is the need to discreetly follow the clients movements and interpret them as hidden signals of fear, help, or pleasure. The second, which seems equally important to me, responds to the ambiguity of postures. A common psychological myth indicates that if a person assumes a belligerent pose, they become more confident and determined. This has been proven not to be the case, as results have not been repeatedly confirmed, and a study of cortisol production showed no meaningful change (Kluger, 2017). This is important to me not only in terms of learning new facts but also as evidence that body language psychology is dynamic and changeable, so one cannot use only one source when trying to work with a student.
Section 3. My Critical Mistake
Throughout my professional journey, there was only one case that seemed to me to be the most significant in terms of my competence. Whereas with all my other clients, I try to maintain a constructively neutral practice, this time, I allowed myself to cross the line and provide damaging assistance to a student. This was a young man facing a career choice. For one thing, he was being invited to a new position in an industry with which he was unfamiliar. For the client, this meant having to rebuild his life, teach new skills and open up new horizons. On the other hand, the apprentice could stay in his current position and change nothing. This option was not a bad thing because it responded to stability, confidence, and sustainability. My client could not personally decide which of the two options suited him, so the man turned to me for help. It is worth saying that career problems are a frequent reason for coaches to seek help (Pagis, 2021). In other words, the mechanism for working with this client was initially clear to me, and there was no fear or anxiety for me to help him.
The situation changed, however, during my consultations. After listening carefully to the client and making sure that his dilemma really had weight (FUEL/GROW), I suggested that he try a reframing technique. As I understood it, reframing was helpful in getting out of the frame of choice and looking at the situation from a different perspective. Reframing is often used by professional coaches to help clients (Morin, 2021; Van Rooyen, 2018). I detailed to the client what he was to do and shared information about the academic acceptance of the practice. By engaging in reframing, the student and I were able to determine what exactly was important in his choices and why he was hesitant in the first place. Up until this point, I did not feel that I had made a mistake or behaved unprofessionally. My team of colleagues, when discussing my scenario, praised my choice of reframing techniques and supported my decisions. However, when I refer back to this case every time in my memory, I feel embarrassed and a little ashamed of my actions.
I critically evaluated the work I had done many times until I finally understood where I had actually made a mistake. It is well known that the most prominent mistake coaches make is projecting their own experiences and opinions onto the client. This is one of the first rules of effective coaching, which prohibits telling the client what to do (Cannon et al., 2021). Now, as I evaluate my experience from the outside, I realize that this was the rule I broke in providing services to this man. Instead of effectively completing the reframing technique and summarizing it, I translated my opinion into the students perception and actually told him what to do. In other words, instead of developing a plan of action together with the client, setting deadlines, and getting active, I told him what I would do myself, thereby disrupting his perception. Of course, the client eventually decided to change jobs and seems to have been satisfied, although it is still an essential omission for me that I so seriously violated the coaches code of ethics.
For critical writing, it is crucial to note that, first, I clearly understand my mistake in this case and, second, I can offer an effective solution to this problem. Instead of violating professional ethics and issuing instructions for action, I would develop the reframing used in order to understand the choice better. With the client, we discussed only the basis of the dilemma-that is, what was causing the fear and why such a choice mattered at all. I would now take advantage of the situation and try to clarify what might be behind the doubts. I would give the client the opportunity to express his doubts through a future paradigm, namely how he sees each path if he chooses one outcome or another. Together with him, we would discuss the strengths of each side and see which one the man would find himself more interested in. Additionally, I would suggest that the client spend one week on Gratitude exercises and activities in order to get rid of the negative layer of thoughts and consider only what is really important in this choice (Anand et al., 2021). Thus, I absolutely believe that with my current knowledge and understanding of my mistakes, I would be able to help this client better than before and make his experience with me as a professional smoother.
Conclusion
Thus, I can definitely state that I feel my professional growth and see my knowledge and competencies as a coaching specialist expanding. Indeed, my experience has not been entirely unhindered, and some of the episodes described in the paper particularly highlight my failures. However, it must be acknowledged that this is part of my coaching, which means that mistakes and lapses were necessary so that I could become a more confident professional.
Reference List
Aboujaoude, E. (2020) Where life coaching ends and therapy begins: toward a less confusing treatment landscape, Perspectives on Psychological Science, 15(4), pp. 973-977.
Anand, P., Bakhshi, A., Gupta, R. and Bali, M. (2021) Gratitude and quality of life among adolescents: the mediating role of mindfulness, Trends in Psychology, pp.1-13.
Batur, Z., Ba_ar, M., ^ener, N. And Uygun, K. (2019) The examination on communication and dissenting disputes in different nationalities students, Kastamonu E itim Dergisi, 27(6), pp. 2781-2794.
Biomimicry (2017).
Cannon, M., Douglas, S. and Butler, D. (2021) Developing coaching mindset and skills, Management Teaching Review, 6(4), pp. 330349.
Frankl, V. E. (2006). Mans search for meaning. Boston: Beacon Press.
Grover, S. and Furnham, A. (2021) The Dark Triad, emotional intelligence, self-monitoring and executive coach effectiveness and satisfaction, Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, pp. 1-21.
Hargrove, R. (2008) Masterful coaching. Hoboken: Wiley.
Jones, R.J., Woods, S.A. and Zhou, Y. (2018) Boundary conditions of workplace coaching outcomes, Journal of Managerial Psychology, 33 (7/8), pp. 475-496.
Karlsen, J.T. and Berg, M.E. (2020) Coaching leadership style: a learning process, International Journal of Knowledge and Learning, 13(4), pp. 356-368.
Kluger, J. (2017) Power poses dont actually work. Try these confidence-boosting strategies instead.
Knight, M. (2017) Core competencies of coaching. A 60 hour life coach training program.
Knopf, A. (2020) Psychodynamic therapy for SUD: counselors view, Alcoholism & Drug Abuse Weekly, 32(30), pp. 3-5.
Lefdahl-Davis, E.M., Huffman, L., Stancil, J. and Alayan, A.J. (2018) The impact of life coaching on undergraduate students: a multiyear analysis of coaching outcomes, International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, 16(2), pp. 69-83.
MacKie, D. (2015) Who sees change after leadership coaching? An analysis of impact by rater level and self-other alignment on multi-source feedback, International Coaching Psychology Review, 10(2), pp. 118-130.
Masterson, B. (2019) Why America has more life coaches than other countries.
Morin, A. (2021) What is cognitive reframing?
Moyes, J. (2012) Me Before You. London: Penguin Publishing Group.
Neac_u, G. (2016) Coaching models applied in studentsteaching practice placements, Educaia Plus, 14(3), pp. 34-43.
Nutt, D. (2019) Psychedelic drugsa new era in psychiatry, Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 21(2), pp. 139-147.
Pagis, M. (2021) Inhabiting the self-work romantic utopia: positive psychology, life coaching, and the challenge of self-fulfillment at work, Work and Occupations, 48(1), pp. 40-69.
Pamah, D. (2018) 12 reasons why celebrities need a life coach.
Theeboom, T., Beersma, B. and van Vianen, A.E. (2014) Does coaching work? A meta-analysis on the effects of coaching on individual level outcomes in an organizational context, The Journal of Positive Psychology, 9(1), pp. 1-18.
Van Rooyen, E.J. (2018) Developing tomorrows leaders: applying neuro-linguistic programming techniques in public affairs education and human resources development, The 3rd Annual International Conference on Public Administration and Development Alternatives conference proceedings. Stellenbosch University, Saldahna Bay, South Africa.
Venkatesh, U. (2019) Coaching industry statistics!!
Order from us for quality, customized work in due time of your choice.