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Fear is something that can trigger frustration, which can lead up to hopelessness because of its feeling of being lost within one’s self. Fear is something that remains constant in this memoir. In A Long Way Gone, by Ishmael Bech, one can see that fear causes frustration and eventually to hopelessness.
Like most people, Ishmael fears life and death, as neither is pleasant. During the beginning of his memoir, Ishmael is becoming isolated from all that he knows. He loses contact with his brother, his friends and everyone from his present and past life. Living in a life of wondering if you were going to live or not, Ishmael starts to become frustrated with living and hiding in fear. Ishmael expresses, I become frustrated with living in fear. I felt as if I was always waiting for death to come to me, so I decided to go somewhere where there was at least some peace ( Page 45). Ishmael begins to struggle between the demands of his body and the troubles in his mind. Ishmael decides to pick further isolation by leaving, but he somehow finds the strength to keep going and survive.
Ishmael’s journey to life carries on in a state of mind of hopelessness. He worries that each time he faces death, a part of him wants to accept his death. Ishmael states, Every time people come at us with the intention of killing us, I close my eyes and wait for death. Even though I am still alive. I feel like each time I accept death, part of me dies (Page 70). Ishmael starts to treasure the few moments of joy he has with his friends. To take away his mindset of not wanting to thrive and survive in order to meet his family once again.
Ishmael now returns to his Uncles home in Freetown to being the school year.
Most of the students in his class know that he use to be a boy soldier and they fear that he will snap and hurt them at any time, so they sit far away and refuse to speak to him and Mohamed who was also a boy soldier. On May 25, 1997, violence beings to happen in the capital. Ishmael wakes up to gunfire and fears the return of civil war. Later in that night rebels and soldiers on the front lines started pouring into the state. Ishmael writes, The entire nation crumbled into a state of lawlessness…I couldnt return to my previous life. I didnt think I could make it out alive this time (203). Ishmael has escaped the war only to have the war find him again. Ishmael fears of becoming a soldier again, but yet, he is more afraid of dying. He now realizes that life is something valuable and he was to survive through this.
In the memoir, A long way gone by Ishmael Bech one can see that fear causes frustration and eventually to hopelessness. But one can also see fear can turn in to something to live through in order to have hope for life. Ishmael starts to realize that he isn’t by himself in his suffering and that he has people that will help him get through the hardships. He also learned if amazing children from around the world can live, and survive their hardships, and learn to thrive in the world, he can too.
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